


The X-Files perspective

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21734026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: 2 fics per episode, one from Scully, the other from Mulder. Each will be of a different part of an episode. I wanted to look deeper into how I saw them in each of these moments. My personal perspective... may not vibe with everyone.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 29
Kudos: 24





	1. Pilot: Dana Scully meets Fox Mulder

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Feel free to kudos, comment and share. It feeds the writer within.  
> Your support is greatly appreciated.
> 
> If you wanna discuss things more, hit me up here, or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes,  
> Melxx

* * *

The hallway seemed to stretch on forever; its walls stacked with evidence shelves, file boxes and other items you'd find cluttering up your basement. Scully hadn't expected to transverse the entire complex to find her new assignment but found it both fitting and intriguing that this would be the chosen place for a man who chased the inconceivable and believed in the existence of extraterrestrial life. She had nodded at the sporadic agent here and there as she passed them but soon found herself alone as she came upon the door she had been seeking.

It was just as inconspicuous as any of the other doors in the building; its wood bearing no markings or any signs that anything beyond a room existed behind it. Bathed in shadows and tucked away, it was becoming clear that just like the cases classified as X-Files, Mulder was tucked away into obscurity; as far away from the light and public eyes as he could get.

It was of course only by reputation that she knew of this man and now she was about to enter his world; thrust into the unknown by her superiors, who she felt deemed Agent Mulder as a problem that she was going to help them solve. His reputation as a profiler was second to none and he was thought to be one of the brightest minds to come into the FBI, but all of that was seemingly overshadowed by his eclectic fascination with the paranormal. “Spooky Mulder” they had called him; she figured it wasn't a term of endearment, rather a label for behaviour few understood.

Her knuckles had resounded sharply as she knocked on the closed door; an excitement settling in the pit of her stomach. He’d answered as she pushed the door open.

_“Sorry, nobody here but the FBI’s most unwanted.”_

She had thought his voice smooth, silky almost, laced with sarcastic undertones that she was sure she’d be the brunt of at one point or another. Her brain had kicked into overdrive as she studied the walls of the small space, the pictures, newspaper clippings, posters. She would have laughed out loud when she saw the _“I want to believe”_ poster but thought better of it considering first impressions. She had introduced herself, trying to sound as confident as she could. The room was all encompassingly him; everything felt important and individually curated and nurtured, and had made Scully’s mind wander until he'd taken her hand gently and shook it. As her eyes had found him, the thought struck her of how ordinary he seemed. He was just a regular guy; button down shirt, tie, glasses perched on his face. But what had she been expecting really? Something alien, something paranormal, something unexplainable? Mind moving a mile a minute, cataloguing, referencing and trying to keep herself from getting lost in his eyes as they stared back at her. They were skeptical and full and had probably seen things she couldn't even dream of coming to know, but were also clouded with something she couldn't quite place. A loss? A fear? A mistrust? All of them could have been true given the nature of things. 

They had bantered back and forth with each other; something Scully found both infuriating, as he seemed to have an answer for everything, as well as a fuel to a fire that she felt ignite within her. It spat and crackled until it over came her with a need to know more, a scientific curiosity biting at her every nerve ending, as well as a personal acknowledgement that while Mulder’s theories and beliefs seemed outside the realm of possibility, his passion and wanting for something else gave way to an interesting and complex man. It didnt surprise her, his boldness, is venom laced sarcasm, it spoke to his character and resilience in the face of so many who wanted to see him fail. She felt a pang of guilt hit her in the stomach as she thought about this. She would never want him to fail, but she knew that science was the only true barometer of success and Mulder seemed to willingly deprave his theories of it outside the fantastical. She had her job to do. Solve cases, find the truth, write the report. 

As he'd bid her goodnight for an early rise to the plausible state of Oregon, she couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and wanting and a need to find out more about this man. He was self assured and fantastical but Scully could sense the undertones within him; there was more to know, more to unearth, more to learn from him and two could play at this game they'd started, this push and pull of theory, of explaining the unexplainable, of everything she could hope for in a partner. He spoke to her in measured tones of respect if not understand and allowed for her trespasses into his thoughts and way of thinking even upon their first meeting. He had viewed her assignment to this detail a punishment for a crime committed but in reality she couldn't wait to see what was around the corner and somehow already knew it would be the time of her life.


	2. Pilot- Mulder: The first of many motel rooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s a shorter one. I wrote it while at work.. 
> 
> I didn’t like the story Mulder told Scully about how Samantha disappeared in the pilot but understand that it was a developing story thread that could only be explored further and at the time of the pilot they didn’t know where it was going to go, so I kinda just glazed over it and let him be in his feels. 
> 
> Enjoy nonetheless!

* * *

Mulder wasn’t distrustful of people. He felt himself to be the complete opposite; sometimes to his detriment. It was power he had no trust for and those in positions of it looking to cover up the truth. So when the details of his childhood trauma, his sisters disappearance fell from his lips to Scully’s waiting ears, he had to wonder why she was different. She was sent by the powers that be to discredit him, to report on him.

But as the rain fell outside, she had knocked on his door and entered in a flourish, beside herself worrying she had the same marks on her back as the victims they were here investigating did. She had collapsed against him, her hands gripping his shirt. His mind had delivered to him a million questions in that moment. If she didn’t believe then why had she been so concerned? Why did she trust him enough to strip before him, allow his fingers to caress her skin? Was she really here to debunk his work or did she to have a need for a truth she had been searching for?

He didn’t have any answers but felt a shift in his mind about what position she held in this game. Maybe he could use her help, her knowledge, her logic. It wasn’t that he thought science and logic had no place in these investigations but rather after exhausting all of those possibilities, couldn’t the path lead them to the fantastical as a plausibility? He relied on science very much to determine a lot of his work, to push him in a direction, down avenues of investigation but all the outside world ever saw was his fall into the dark oblivion of the paranormal, of the unexplained. 

But something had shifted now. Scully lay on the bed in his motel room, listening intently, without judgement or criticism. The deepest hurt of his soul tumbled from his lips, their taste still a bitter reminder of the loss, still unimaginable, still providing a gaping hole in his chest that nothing seemed to close. And just like all those years ago there was nothing he could do. She had vanished, and everyday he’d hoped she’d be brought back, that he could see her again. 

But it had been years and the only hope he had now was his work, was his fight to uncover the truth. His head swam with memories of Samantha, her smile, her laugh, how she had trusted her big brother. His chest tightened and he felt himself drifting, an occurrence more frequent than he’d liked. He shook it off and turned his head to look at Scully from his position on the floor by the bed; the walls he’d built piecing themselves back together. 

Why was she different? What about her made his mind still, let his shoulders begin to lift the weight that was always there. She’d asked for him to trust her and as the words washed over him, he started to feel like he could.For all her objections and logic to certain possibilities on this case, it struck Mulder that there was a willingness to at least hear him and see what he was capable of.

But he knew her role here and for that he had to be cautious but he also felt he had to warn her, to give her the bigger picture. He’d been round this block a few times now and knew what to expect but she was new and fresh and hopeful and if this, whatever it was, was going to work he had to make sure she was aware of just what she was getting herself into.

He was curious of her mind, of her thoughts, of how she saw the world; maybe she could bring him to a higher plane of existence that would further his search for the truth? 

He wanted to believe and maybe, just maybe she would to. 


	3. s1ep2: Deep Throat- Scully: Is this why we are out here Mulder?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder takes Scully UFO hunting. she's unhappy to say the least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a weird mood writing this, so it may not be everyones thing. But in the scene you can clearly see she is fed up with his shit. I just took it and ran. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read the pilot fics, commented, left kudos and shared. I appreciate you all so much. Knowing y'all are liking it, gives me pause and joy.
> 
> As always, anytime you wanna discuss, theorise and be all feely about the X-Files hit me up here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> all the vibes.
> 
> Melxx

* * *

They had driven to the edge of Ellen’s airbase, the barbwire fence the only thing omitting them from it; their rental car parked on a dirt road. He had gotten out of the car with great gusto and she barely had time to register his movements as he opened the trunk and searched for something. What were they doing out here? He hadn't exactly explained himself to her, a gambit he had played with her since the day they had met. He’d feed her just enough to keep her interested and then fail to provide any concrete evidence or theory as to how their actions would lead to them solving the case. It had already, in the short time they'd known each other begun to wear thin and it was becoming harder and harder to keep herself professional.

She had sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging, as she followed him to the back of the car, her annoyance growing at an exponential rate. It scratched at her throat as she demanded to know what he had hoped to see by bringing them out here. They had viable leads and sources to meet with back in town and here he was wanting to play UFO hunter. Her frustration bubbling further as he short changed her an answer yet again; he didn’t know, probably nothing. The words felt hot and heavy in her ears, a sucker punch to the system, like she was being sidelined from the last few seconds of a season winning game.

He had begun to retreat up a small hill and all she wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and shake but knew that wouldn’t do any good anyway. She bit back her urge for physicality, just wanting to know the damn truth. He was always going on about how he wanted to find the truth and in the here and now, he was the one with holding it from her. Screw it she thought, her veil of scientific, logical professionalism crashing down around her, words spiting like hot lead from her lips. 

“ _Is this why we came out here Mulder, to look for UFOs?”_

She was sure her face had demanded it from him to, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way as he trekked up the hill before her, his ignorance weaving a trail behind him. She was starting to see the shades of grey that other people had warned her about. His own selfish needs, wants and beliefs tyrannising above everything else. She had a job to do, they both did, so why the hell couldn't he just get on with it. She had let him talk her into it, like anything would be different from the other cases they had worked together. A self annoyance had settled in her chest, its heaving growl a sigh ripping through her, fed up and unsure what the hell she was going to do to get through to him. 

She had looked upon his back as he made his way up. Did he not care about anyone but himself? In that moment she thought not, because if he did, he would've realised that with all the scrutiny they were already under, this would not bode well. She had a damn report to write! What was she supposed to say. _Agent Mulder took me UFO hunting at Ellen’s airbase. This was a great use of FBI resources and The X-Files should be allowed to continue functioning in this capacity as Agent Mulder has theories._

She could do sarcasm just as well as he could. 

_“Yeah this is gonna look real good on my field report.”_

Her annoyance turning into anger as he reached the top of the hill still clearly in her view. She’d slammed the trunk of the rental car shut, hoping the physical action would release at least a little of the ill will she was currently harbouring towards the man who was supposed to be her partner, who was meant to have her back but right now all he had was tunnel vision, a camera and far fetched theories. No! She had thought, this isn't happening, she wasn't going to follow him up there, he could do whatever he wanted, see whatever he wanted, she wanted to have limited knowledge about the whole situation. If she didn’t see it, it didn’t happen; deniability at its finest. She knew that this was always going to be a possibility. She had been warned that this man would drag her into situations she knew she should one hundred percent avoid, situations that would have her viewed unfavourably. She was already a woman in a male orientated field, how much harder did she wanna make things for herself? Getting back in the car, she’d hoped he'd get whatever it was they were doing here out of his system, he'd get bored and they could get back to the task at hand. Sunset was a few hours away so she had at least that to berate him in her mind, to cleanse herself of the heaviness the anger she felt had burdened her with. She wasn't one to give up, or into any situation and if this was the cards she had been dealt at this time, she would find a way to make the hand work. She’d use logic and science and coherent thought to get through to him; she wasn't about to back down now; let him have his solo UFO party, he'd be brought crashing back down to reality soon enough. 


	4. S1ep2- Deep throat: Mulder- stolen memories of the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder’s perspective here.. of him being released by the military at Ellen’s Airbase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I have used some creative license in the ending. I know the car scene is different but after he tells her he doesn’t remember how he got there, I wanted some sort of connection, a grounding element for Mulder. I will definitely try and limit those kind of embellishments in the future but hope u enjoy nonetheless.
> 
> As always feel free to discussed and be feely with me here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

All of the pieces seemed to be right there, just out of his reach. He tried everything he could think of to place them in a coherent order but nothing seemed to work. Something had happened, he’d seen things, things he could only ever hope to see, to validate his work, his existence, but he just didn’t know what they were.

It felt like a cruel joke. The one thing he had always been able to rely on was his memory. It was obsessive, catalogued information; dates, names, places, times. Everything he could cram into his brain. If knowledge was power, he would have it in spades.

Except now he didn’t.

The one piece of the puzzle he’d fought so hard to complete, cruelly ripped away. He knew it had been there, he’d studied it, marvelled at its potential to change everything but now only a blank space remained. Even the smallest tasks appeared impossible in the moment, everything a swirling pit of nothing, yet a cacophony of stimulus all at once.

Before he knew it, he’d been bundled into the back of a Jeep, armed guards at his sides. His legs protested, unwilling to march him further from his truth. But who was he kidding, it was already as far away as he could get.. and if he was honest, he was tired. So very tired. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Every action a chore; breathing even felt like it was too much to control.

The wind had rattled through the open sides of the jeep and it was all he could do to stop himself from falling asleep where he sat; it’s cool tendrils ruffling his hair, cleansing his sinuses and filling his lungs. His serenity had been halted as the vehicle came to a stop. He looked ahead towards the gate as he got out of the vehicle; his feeling clunky and unnatural against the rough surface of the road.

He hadn’t known why they’d let him go until he saw the familiar figure of Scully just beyond the fence. She was savvier and more cut trust than he had given her credit for. He’d expected to be squirrelled away to the darkest depths of detention, but Scully had been there, gun drawn, authority lacing her words. She hadn’t given up on him, even though he’d abandoned her at the motel; drove away to his own pursuits, to capture his own look at what could change everything.... and it was all for nothing.

The world was hazy and he barely recognised his own feet trudging forward on the road as Scully had beckoned him toward her. All he could do was watch as the people that had taken the truth from him for further and further away. He had stopped just outside the fence line wondering about the fairness of it all, how all he’d needed to stem the violent flow of his search, had been on that base.. He was jolted back to reality by Scully; her voice demanding something from him. He looked over at her, gaze still firmly fixed on the men he’d been released from.

“Get in the car Mulder... get in the car!”

He frowned, his mind finally registering her request. Like a lost little boy he stopped and looked back at the men, trying to gauge the meaning of it all but before long he shyly slipped in the passenger side and closed the door. He noted that Scully had already got into the car, never once losing her trigger sight. Before he knew it, the car was careening away from the base, slammed into reverse then rocketed into drive, as Scully whisked them away to safety.

His eyes locked ahead of him, fixed on nothing in particular but the blurry scenery around them. Scully had looked over at him, trying to gauge how he was and shed asked him, he’d lied of course, telling her he thought so but he wasn’t sure in the moment because nothing seemed real anymore, nothing was concrete or tangible; at least not to him in his current mind. He felt her hand envelope his own on his thigh, a gentle squeeze sparking through him. 

His mind cleared slightly, a recognition of his thoughts beginning again. He gripped her hand back, it’s warmth anchoring him. The world he knew was upside down and the truth further from reach than ever before, but Scully was here, and she had his back. 

And that was real enough for now. 


	5. S1ep3: Squeeze - Mulder: You at least respect the journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One, I feel, of the very first lead up to MSR moments of the series. Necklace grabbing, territory marking, and my take on Mulder's inner thoughts in those moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having a blast writing these perspective pics for each ep and all of y'all who are reading and discussing with me are adding to my joy. Thank you all so much. 
> 
> This chapter is for @thisgirl86603615 ...Kat, your kindness, friendship, encouragement and care are second to none and I don't think I'd have had the confidence to write them at all without you. Thank you for everything you do for me.. Here's to many more chapters together; discussing, evolving and analysing. So grateful to know you. 
> 
> As always feel free to come for me on here or on twitter @theQueerwriter ... 
> 
> All the vibes..
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

She had turned to leave, feeling like a possession, having not exactly accused him of being territorial in the face of Agent Colton’s utter disregard for him… and he had been. He bristled in that room, having to justify his reasons when the evidence was right there for all of them to see, if they had just bothered to look. But no one cared what he thought; he was just spooky to them. An insane man with nothing to offer but outlandish theories designed to frustrate. And he may be at times, but in that moment he knew he was right and apparently Scully did too as she thanked and bid Tom Colton goodbye. 

He had delighted in the way she’d shut him down, had realigned herself to the X-Files. Mulder hadn't often considered just how Scully saw this assignment or what it was doing to her reputation and relationships with those she once considered friends, but he saw in the moment that she had enough invested in the work with him that she backed away from the normal, outside world just a little further. It couldn't have been easy to release the reigns a little more, to be free falling with what some considered a mad man, but he was grateful that at least someone was on his side. As Colton left, his eyes had caught hers and they'd danced in each others gaze for a few moments, silently checking in with one another. Her eyes had screamed _“You’d better be 100 percent on this Mulder"_ and his had carolled back, _“I know I’m right Scully just wait and see.”_

He knew she wasn't totally on the paranormal, extraterrestrial, this man was from 1903 bandwagon as she had wanted to know why he’d pushed his luck… of course he'd pushed his luck. He had to maintain his identity, had to shrug in the face of the unwilling, to make a stand against the biased views that saw closed minds let killers go free and innocent men and women murdered. It gnawed at him that just because something seemed farfetched that everyone wanted to dismiss it right away, never wanting to maintain the possibility that the plausibility of some of these things could actually stand up to scrutiny. But he'd also really thought that if they didnt want to be open minded then he could have some fun playing with them, no matter the threat of humiliation. As it stood, there was nothing he could do to get the violent crimes section to keep Eugene Tooms in custody, so why not go all out. 

And then he'd stood there in front of her, her eyes searching his for the answers to her many questions; the ones he knew wouldnt be the last. She’d turned to leave and he'd reached out to stop her, to let his actions speak for him but faltered and hooked a finger around the long necklace dangling down the front of her white blouse. She’d stopped and he couldn't quite meet her gaze. 

_“Of course I was… In our investigations you may not always agree with me but you at least respect the journey.”_

As the words tumbled from his lips, his eyes flickered from the necklace he’d taken to straightening in front of her, to her eyes that had locked onto his own figure. He definitely didn’t want to make it seem like he owned her because he damn well knew that without her, he'd most likely be dead, more than ten times over, and she could hold her own in a fight, but his chest had puffed out in front of that slimy asshole of an agent, Colton, when he'd talked to Scully on a personal level. There wasn't any reason for him to feel like Colton was pushing in on his turf but it irked Mulder that he got to know her on a more personal level. 

He fiddled with the necklace, it suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the space around them. His mind was racing, berating him as to whether he had made a mistake by admitting his bravado in the room was partly for her benefit. He let the pendant fall from his fingers and his eyes connected wholly with her own since the look they'd shared in the interrogation room. She hadn't said anything and as much confidence as he had, Mulder wasn't sure what he'd just done. Had he made it clear to his partner that he had the upmost respect for her and the work she does and how she always had his back no matter the personal or professional cost, or had he just made her uncomfortable, suggesting that their partnership qualified her as his possession, almost an X-File unto herself. He had to redraw the line in the sand, had to let her know that her freedom, and choices were her own.

_“And if you wanted to continue working with them, I wont hold it against you.”_

His words had been hard in his mouth, his tongue depressing them into pulpous syllables that drifted on the air like the gentle beat of a heart. As soon as they'd left his lips, he'd stepped around her, leaving her to contemplate their interaction, to allow her to make her decision without the overbearing weight of his gaze upon her. It was more for himself than her he'd admit; wanting an out to a situation he'd placed both of them in, not even knowing exactly what that was. He'd made it up a few steps before she’d shook her head and began to follow him, a brightness in her eyes, a curiosity dancing just beyond her vision. 

As they advanced up the stairs, he couldn't help the pull of the corner of his mouth, a smile gracing his lips. She had wanted to know what he'd had up his sleeve and that she knew it must be something for him to put all his cards out on the table… Her voice was like velvet in his ears, a whimsy that filled his chest with a fire that burned for the knowing of her further; what else made Dana Scully who she was. He'd forgo anything now though, just to be placed in her company searching for what they both knew was out there. Someone was killing five people every thirty years and even if Scully could defunct his theory about it being Eugene Tooms, they'd find out the truth together. 


	6. S1ep3: Squeeze - Scully: Where the loyal lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully’s perspective. This one is of her feelings in general rather than about a specific moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kicked my butt. A lot going on in life this past week and my mind would not cooperate in its anxiety riddled state.. so while I’m not 100 percent on this one (seems I never am on any chapter haha) I decided to throw it out there to break my mental block! 
> 
> As always thank u to all who have read, and continue to do so. I love conversing with all of u and hearing your points.. food for my analytical soul! 
> 
> Feel free to be all feely with me once again here or on twitter @theQueerwriter. 
> 
> All the vibes
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

It hadn’t actually hit her completely.... the enormity of change that had swept through her existence having begun working with Mulder on the X-Files. It had been just another assignment for her; one that intrigued, baffled, surprised and infuriated her at times.. She hadn’t thought about the slip and slide of her personal life, the falling away of the connections she had built in the before. 

In the now, an unease began to settle in her stomach, a flip- flop of uncertainty and an aversion to those she had once considered people of worth, whom she thought she’d shared a connection. But as this case had worn on, it had become glaringly clear that things had changed and not for the better. She had gone to lunch with Tom because he’d asked and she’d always thought him a man of great aptitude and respect... she had been enjoying herself, eating a meal at a regular hour with another human being that wasn’t intent on living off sunflower seeds and pure adrenaline, until the vein of disdain revealed itself and began to flow freely through lips laced with disgust and spite. 

She had shrugged off his jibes about Mulder and about her falling into oblivion working with him. She’d defended her new partner; tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and a life line to the outside world. She knew his previous reputation and he had to some degree lived up to it but she had found other things under the surface. He was this complex man, smart beyond belief with a bonded hope for something more than. While he was hard to work with at times she felt his passion, strength and resilience beat out the worst of his traits. 

They both become involved in a case Tom had requested help on. It baffled her that they considered Mulder a leper but when it came down to it, he was the one they’d call when they were stuck. It also filled her with a sense of bravado, a middle finger in the face of doubt... that was until Tom had actually met Mulder. Her bravado faded into a torn sense of loyalty; to her past and to the man who had dissolved into torrid sarcasm about aliens existing and were in fact not green but grey. Her stomach had clenched and she fought to keep her face as neutral as possible as the pair spat back and forth; Mulder clearly wanting to invoke his reputation of being difficult. 

Things had gone from bad to worse as Mulder suggested they should focus their efforts on a person who could squeeze into spaces smaller than small and whom was over 100 years old. He’d come to that conclusion after noticing the similarities from an X- File and his obsessive memory. She had a very fine line to walk between doing her job, finding this killer, backing up her partner but also not feeding into the impossibilities he seemed intent on living in. 

All of the worries she had fell apart as even her suggestions were being seen as far fetched and the suspect she had profiled and captured, let go. She had wondered why Mulder had pushed his luck in the interrogation... why he couldn’t just let it go for one case, that technically he wasn’t on... but it was in that room, that she felt the last pieces of her old self fall away, taken by an insult to her ability, to think and act for herself.. she’d bid Tom farewell and had shored up her stakes with Mulder. 

A turbulent energy bit at her insides as they exited the room, and she couldn’t contain the urge to ask Mulder what he was thinking and why he’d fought so hard; why he was being so territorial of her and this case. He’d stunned her, a shy nervousness oozing from him as he’d stopped her with a delicate finger hooked around the necklace hanging from her neck. As the words fell from his lips he couldn’t quite meet her gaze, like he was getting into trouble or explaining what he did wrong. It sat strange in her chest, a heavy warmth spreading through her. His respect of her and the journey they were currently on solidifying her standing as his partner and what she brought to the table. 

She made the choice in that moment. Decided that she was all in, that this was important and for all Mulder’s misgivings and tactical errors, he was the way forward. They would still buttheads and call each other crazy, but somehow Scully could feel it in her bones that this was worth while, an exploration of the more on offer. She scientifically could say that Mulder’s other beliefs were works of fiction, conjured up in a basement of darkness, by people seeking higher meaning to something quantifiable by the laws of nature but when it came to the trust and respect he had for her, even in the infancy of their partnership, she held it in a special corner of her mind, reserved only for those things she did not want to measure by standards set for the physical. No. She would never weigh it against things created by man; it was an anomaly birthed by the intricacies of a mind that placed no bounds on the depths of its knowledge and by a soul, that she had begun to feel connected to. Yes she had thought, this was her life now, however crazy, it gave her more than the normal ever could and she was going to make a difference. 


	7. S1ep4: Conduit- Scully: The stories we tell are not our own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1ep4: Conduit. Scully’s meeting with her superior about the case. And telling of a story that’s not her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you for reading! And for sticking with this series. It’s been really fun writing these moments and with many more to come I can’t wait to see where it takes us! 
> 
> As always feel free to hit me up on here or on Twitter @theQueerwriter .. I love getting hear what u guys think.

* * *

The folder sat heavy in her hands as she contemplated its cover. The type set labelling the file burned into her mind; _samantha Mulder_

She knew of Mulder’s sister but seeing her name printed as clear as day, having been lettered out by Mulder himself, pricked her mind with memories of when he first gave Scully a look into his soul, into why he fights so hard for the truth. They’d been in his motel room, her laying on the bed, him leaning against its side, eyes piercing her facade even in the dark. He’d detailed the experience, the words falling from his lips thick and weighted with more guilt than Scully thought anyone should carry. She’d asked for his trust then; to believe she wanted nothing more than to solve the cases before them. 

And she did. But in that moment, his sisters file in her hands, in a meeting with her superior, who disliked Mulder’s tactics and wanted to derail the investigation he’d asked to initiate, she felt a guilt begin to assert itself into the pit of her stomach; her chest tightening a little. She knew the score here, what her purpose had been from the start but couldn’t help feeling that she was betraying Mulder’s confidence... and she was. She knew that. She was reporting on him, making recommendations on the things he held dear and getting a choice in the decision as to whether his work was valid and if it would continue. 

She flipped open the file and scanned its pages. A detailed enough report, like any of the X-Files. Mulder was meticulous in his cataloguing of information, of knowledge, of making sure each File and its story was brought to light, if only for his own purposes; X-Files mainly coming to a conclusion, closed and never looked at again by the FBI as important. They were important to Mulder and this File in particular held merit to his existence, to his unwavering desire to know the impossible and explain the unexplainable. 

Closing the file, she’d began to explain what she knew. The words were salty and uncomfortable on her tongue as they slipped from her lips. 

This was not her story to tell. 

Mulder had confided in her, exposed layers of himself that would other wise lay buried, subject only to the passing of time and the continual pain and guilt over something he could not have prevented or foreseen. He had given her a part of himself and while she knew others had been privy to the story, he had been vulnerable with her, had let down his guard. It had been a matter of fact with others, told out of necessity, a whisper passed on from one person to the next but she was his partner, she had his back, always, and she felt that his retelling of what had happened to samantha, placed them in each other’s graces, gifted them a connection that she hadn’t felt with anyone before. 

Mulder was unlike anyone she’d ever met. He was infuriating, hardheaded and self absorbed at times; his own agenda a line he’d be walk to the ends of the earth, even at great risk to himself and other people around him. He was blinded but at the same time had a view of the world and many things in it that she couldn’t help but marvel at. It opened her mind and brought her to the forefront of possibility and while she was firmly rooted in science, she found that possibility gave way to hope. 

Samantha’s disappearance hadn’t been a problem in the cases they’d worked so far but Scully could see the signs that this one might be different. Another missing girl, taken at night, that hasn’t been seen since, with a connection to the paranormal? This was a Mulder gold mine if Scully ever saw one. It pitted itself against her logical brain, volleying back and forth.

Despite her worrying thoughts, she still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, a chance to prove her and her superiors wrong, to rise above and find something substantial that would help them solve the case without the need for muddying the waters with little grey men. 

She disagreed with him on a lot of things but there was a missing girl at stake and Mulder’swant to find her couldn’t be overshadowed by the reputation he had garnered himself with those in positions of power. Scully was in this, and if she could do one thing it was at least get him a fair chance to find the things he was seeking. If it came down to it that there was no validity to what Mulder was claiming, then she’d report it as such, but for now, for the chance to bring him into the light, to be seen as more than his theories, Scully would go into bat for him, and she’d swing hard. 


	8. S1ep4: Conduit- Mulder: of all the things we believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully wants mulder to stop feeding his obsession with finding his sister.. mulder can’t believe Scully wants to give up... mulder wasn’t going to, with or  
> Without Scully he was going find the truth about ruby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series is coming along nicely. Big thanks to all of you still reading. Much love to u all. 
> 
> Feel free to converse with me here, or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes. 
> 
> Melxx

* * *

“ _Mulder stop. Stop running after your sister.”_

The words had hit him whole, and heavy and almost knocked the wind out of his lungs. They’d been spat at him, laced with frustration, fear and worry but all he could frame his mind around was the bubbling anger that bit at its fringes; that Scully would speak her knowledge of his pain and project it into the world so freely. 

His legs had stopped, his torso flinging around to face her as she pursued him. She had come to stop a few feet away from him as he looked at her. They hadn’t known each other long but he thought that he’d come to know her, come to respect her thoughts and feelings on cases, but now as he stood facing her in the street, his heart squeezing painfully at all the memories the mention of his sister had brought flooding into his mind, he couldn’t help but feel like a stranger stood before him. She stared back at him, her eyes seemed softer than her words had been as she’d fired them off at him but it did little to quell his indignation and disappointment at how secular her thoughts about this case had been. 

When they’d first met he’d told her about what had happened not out of obligation but out of a need to prepare her for what was to come. If she was going to be his partner, investigating the truth, she was going to need all the facts and be as prepared as she could be. He hadn’t placed his whole trust in her as yet but held her above anyone else he’d met before. She’d at least tried to be open, to see where he was coming from but now, as her words echoed in the few feet before them, he had begun to wonder if there was a fundamental flaw in his trust of anyone. It was limited at best but he’d at least tried to let her in even though he knew what her role was in becoming his partner. 

“ _This won’t bring her back”_

The silence that had stretched out before them broken by the last bullet Scully hadn’t needed to fire. The words pierced his skin, ripped through his flesh and tore apart the muscles beneath, shattering bone.. A wrenching pit of overwhelming sadness opened up within him. He damn well knew he couldn’t bring her back. Did she really think him so naive that he didn’t know that miracle was one only the grace of god could grant and Mulder far from believed in any such divinity. 

Of course he’d always believe in the  Hope  that he could find her. He had hope that he’d know what had happened, if she had suffered.. if she could forgive him for that moment all those years ago when he’d let her down so terribly. He’d hold on to that hope though, to believe he could make a difference for someone... and this girl that was missing needed him. No one was in her corner and Mulder felt that to give up now would be to abandon hope. 

He felt a frustration prickle behind his eyes as the moments passed like eternity between them; in a reality that moved at lightning speed. How could she seem so willing to give up, to paint his crusade for this girl with hues of grey, blurring the tentative lines he was trying to maintain. No. This was not good enough. His frustration filtered back into anger and Mulder had had enough. He had a job to do.

“ _Come with me or don’t come with me, but until they find a body I’m not giving up on that girl.”_

His voice sat like electricity in the air, it crackled and spat and zapped everything before him. He didn’t care at this point if Scully gave up and went home with out him, if she reported him to her superiors and told them that he was out of his mind and his work should stop. A girl was missing and with his sisters disappearance being a factor to pursue this so hard or not, Mulder was going to do everything he could until evidence presented itself to him that he shouldn’t. He had no more time to entertain the look of worry that Scully was feeding him. 

Turning on his heel, Mulder strode towards his waiting car. He was going to find the truth, even if that meant this girl was dead or that she’d just run off, at least he’d know then, and he could bring some sort of closure to her family, to bring them the one thing he was never able to get, someone who believed in them. 

And Mulder did believe... or at least he wanted to. 


	9. S1Ep5: The Jersey Devil- Mulder: Of the things we don’t understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jersey devil is taken down.. the “why did you have to kill her?” Moment, leading up to and as he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience in waiting for this perspective... with Xmas and other things in life putting me in a weird vibe/ headspace it didn’t come easy. But I got it to a point where I like it. May not be everyone’s cup of tea but thanks for being on the ride anyway! 
> 
> As always comments and the like are much appreciated here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes
> 
> Melxx

* * *

He had gazed upon her face in the scattered light of the warehouse. Her beauty had surprised and captivated him; the mere seconds burning a record into his mind. Even in his fragmented view he’d seen her eyes shining, her soft cheek bones sloping towards lips that while cracked were symmetrical and plump. She’d been a vision if he ever saw one, before she’d tried to rip his insides out. 

And now as he came upon her body, strewn where she’d been cut down, slain by fear and a lack of understanding for things other than, her features were still striking. The shots had come loud and clear, ricocheting through the air like a clap of thunder chasing the lightning in a storm. His heart had constricted in his chest, an instant pain gnawing at the cage of his ribs. He’d been trying to get them all to see from the start that this person, this woman was just protecting herself, a primal instinct in all of them and that while she was different that didn’t warrant her being hunted down like a rabid dog and slaughtered. 

Mulder understood many things in this world. He understood the complexities of the human genome, our DNA providing the blueprint to life. He understood the physics of planetary orbital rotation in conjunction with seasonal and tidal changes. He also understood that one’s mental fortitude does not proclaim its use correctly and abundantly. He understood many things others couldn’t or chose not to... but in that moment, seeing this poor woman’s body, her life cruelly taken, extinguished without rhyme or reason, he couldn’t understand the lack of empathy, the lack of care for human life, for an existence different from their own. 

Nature had paid her due care as she fell, leaves covering her intimately. Obviously not by design but rather how she probably had been running and as the burning metal pierced her skin, she’d fallen, plummeting into the thick coat of leaves on the floor of the wooded area. Mulder was still grateful that in her last moments, she was granted a dignified view of her existence to the world. As he’d came over the rise and saw her laying there, his stomach bottomed out and a dark well had opened within his soul; the tendrils of lost faith and hope snaking their way through his veins, infecting him with a sadness he hoped no one else would ever know. 

He’d knelt beside her, gazing upon the features he’d been so taken by earlier. Her eyes were still open but now devoid of any brightness, or flicker of life. The other agents and law enforcement officers stood around her, guns still cradled in blood soaked hands. While no physical blood coated them, Mulder was forever going to be able to see it there; slick and warm. It would forever be a reminder to him that the things we don’t understand are often the ones most worth protecting, and in this moment, he’d failed to do just that. 

With a tentative hand, he had reached forward to slide her eyes shut, his calloused yet gentle hand providing her with the last goodbye. His sadness was somewhat replaced by an anger. It bubbled up through his chest and spat like fire as he stood up to face the men responsible. 

“Why did you have to kill her?”

He wanted to know, to better understand but knew his answers would come at a cost. He would know of the minds of those who ambiguously treat life with such callous disdain because of difference. Mulder believed in many things that others didn’t, but he also had hope. What was the world without hope? Nothing. Mulder understood that without hope there is no possibility.. for change, for having and being better... without hope there is no commandment for more than. 

So he had walked away, leaving the question hanging in the air, hoping that at least one of those men took it into his soul and tried to answer it honestly; without the veil of duty, of justice required, but instead with a clarity that suggested that just because we do not understand it doesn’t mean, it can not be understood. 


	10. S1ep5: The Jersey Devil- Scully: Jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully when Mulder abandons her to drive back alone so he can stay and search for the jersey devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with writing a Scully perspective for this ep. There were probably plenty of moments I could have chose but my real life got messy and I’ve held onto this ep for too long. So here’s a quick, gross, I hate it, what I’ve written is crap, perspective. I just had to let it go so I could move on to the next ep and block of Perspectives. 
> 
> I’m alive here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes. 
> 
> Melxx

* * *

It was a Friday, Scully thought to herself as they walked back to their waiting car, couldn’t Mulder just let non existent cases lie? For once they didn’t have a case they were trying to solve, a darkness they were trying to drag into the light but Mulder had tried his best to invent one; it didn’t eventuate of course and now there was nothing left to do but get in the car and make the drive back. 

But as they reached their respective sides of the car, facing each other over its roof, Scully could sense something was coming, something she knew she wasn’t going to like and as she watch Mulder look around him, his mind deciding just how to broach his partner in sticking around and getting into some trouble. 

And there it was. The suggestion they find a hotel, catch a floor show and dig around a little. Scully couldn’t really be surprised at mulder wanting to stay. He’d been the one that had made them come all this way for nothing anyway. But no Scully wasn’t having it. She had a life and plans to get back to and told him as such. 

His eyes had sprung to hers then, like he was surprised she’d have plans; a date he’d suggested. It made her almost smirk at the way he teased her about it. But no she had her godsons birthday party and was not going to miss it to stay and search for the jersey devil with Mulder. She’d set him straight, a glint returning to his eye as he rocketed the car keys across the roof at her. 

A sense of aggravation and annoyance began to bubble in the pit of her stomach as he outlined his agenda for the weekend. Of course he was going to stick around by himself, probably piss a whole bunch of people off and get himself into trouble she knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of without her. She began questioning her life choices as to how she had gotten to this point but had to remind herself that she knew Mulder now, knew what to expect and this was right in line with his bullshit. 

But now he was going to leave her to drive back by herself, so he could go off in search of something that might not even exist. It was FRIDAY AFTERNOON! She would be driving back into traffic, and she hated driving at the best of times. Her protest to such did little. Mulder had set his sights on something and no amount of her protesting would do any good and before she knew it he was striding away from her and her growing annoyance of him. 

She huffed at his back but reluctantly let him go off with out her. She had places to be. It still irked her that he could be so self centred; had she not shown him that she had his back? That she was trustworthy and that maybe sometimes the things she wanted were valid too. 

Sliding into the car, tossing her belongings into the empty seat beside her, she only had one thought about him in that moment. 

“Jerk.”


	11. S1ep6: Shadows- Scully: elevators, intrigue and Mulder magic tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1ep6: Shadows
> 
> Scully and Mulder know nothing but are intrigued as to why nondescript agents were trying so hard to keep them at bay. Mulder has a theory, Scully is wary but curious. The hallway to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have put some subtle MSR cues in this one. Scully can’t help her face sometimes I swear! 
> 
> Hope you continue to enjoy if your a return reader and if your new welcome to the fold! 
> 
> Discussion and thoughts are life, so feel free to message me here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes 
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

It was almost 3am and they’d been summoned; to what they had no clue. And now as they left the morgue after a pointless back and forth, with people they didn’t know, itfrustrated Scully a little that they still knew nothing. Well, except for the fact that two men were dead; dying from internally crushed larynx’s, neck bones and wind pipes, without so much as any external abrasions, marks or indications to trauma.

As a medical doctor the limited details of this case interested her but as a human who had been coaxed out of bed at an ungodly hour just to be told nothing by an unknown agency, she was far from thrilled with the turn of events. The other thing that pique her interest was the way Mulder bristled with an unbridled energy. He had guided her out of the morgue, with a gentle hand to her lower back, and they’d begun walking down the semi lit corridor to the elevator. She’d narrowed her gaze as he walked in step behind her shoulder. 

It hit her then. 

_ “ You lied. You have seen this before, I can tell. You lied to them.” _

He’d lied to the unknown agents about knowing of these circumstances before. He did indeed have an X-File on the phenomenon. Of course he did.. and Scully knew he’d have an outlandish theory to go with those files. They stopped walking and Mulder hit the button to bring the elevator to their floor. It was then he sprang into his previously veiled explanation of the case before them; this man and his X- Files held the key. 

Scully was a scientist and for all Mulder’s thoughts and theories she wanted to know how a man’s Larynx could be crushed without so much as an abrasion to the skin of the neck. 

_ Psycho- kinetic Manipulation. _

And there it was.

It fell from his lips so easily and she had to stop herself from laughing in his face; psycho- kinesis, really? Her face almost betrayed her, a hint of a smile on her lips as sarcasm laced her words. 

_ “Psycho- kinesis.. You mean how Carey got even at the Prom? _

There was literally a million other things that this could be and Mulder, of course, jumps to the use of the mind to move or manipulate objects as the golden goose. She was open minded, or at least she tried to be but sometimes Mulder’s thought were so incredulous that even she had a hard time maintaining a sense of professional decorum. 

The elevator dinged as it’s doors slide open and she looked into its open, yet confining space. However incredible Mulder’s thoughts were she was curious as to why two agents from undisclosed agencies would

be working so hard to keep not only their identities but who these men were and how they came to be dead a secret. Stepping into the meta box, Mulder close behind, pressing the button for the floor she needed, she had to admit to herself and Him that she was intrigued by the whole thing. 

“ _I’m intrigued...”_

She wanted answers but without any sort of evidence or knowledge of the men they were going to be investigating she really couldn’t see any way they were going to proceed. They had nothing... or at least she thought they did. As the doors slid closed, Mulder was slipping an arm around her shoulders. She was confused for a split second as he lifted his glasses out in front of them. She had noticed he’d put them on back in the morgue. They weren’t something he wore all the time, and often only made an appearance when he was tired and the strain on his eyes was to much to fight through. As smart as he was, Scully had always found that seeing him in glasses made way for him being smarter, which she knew was an impossibility but somehow she found them a good look on him. 

He pulled her seemingly closer if she had thought it possible and a slight panic flashed across her face at how big the space around them now seemed. Her gun holster must be pushing into the apex of his hip at their proximity but he didn’t seem phased. He brought the glasses closer and breathed his hot breath onto the lenses. She was definitely a little confused as to their current situation. But her confusion soon turned to a sort of amazement. 

_Seriously_?

Two near perfect finger prints, one on each lens, appeared before her eyes. Okay she had to give Mulder credit where it was due. That was an ingenious move. She wasn’t surprised if she was completely honest, Mulder was one of the smartest people she had ever met and this was something that, while out there, she could see him doing. She also had to applaud him for getting the prints without the grumpy, evasive “show me yours but mine stays a secret” agents seeing. 

At least now they had a place to start to look for answers. Plausible, tangible, based in science answers. She’d give mulder his flights of fancy, but until she’d been unequivocally proven wrong, she’d stick to the things she could quantify scientifically... 

... matter how impressed she was with his print trick. 


	12. S1ep6: Shadows- Mulder: One shadow at a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing scully, you don’t believe.” Mulder is conflicted about how Scully uses his and Lauren’s beliefs to her advantage. And Scully is fed up with chasing shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one ended differently than I had originally planned. Hopefully it still makes sense and you can see where I was going with it. 
> 
> Feel free to comment and such here or on twitter @theQueerwriter
> 
> All the vibes
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

Her voice had quivered slightly and her normal composure seemed to fail as he watched her comfort the woman. He knew Scully had empathy, it came thick and hard at times when others dared not know or want to care for those in turmoil. It put her in positions at times that Mulder felt she shouldn’t dare tread but he knew she was strong and nothing anyone could say would change who she was.

But as he looked on at the exchange before him it sat wrong and blurred and improper in his mind. In any other circumstance her words would have been perfect and whole and healing to him, like she was providing hope but he felt it a fallacy for her to be having an empathetic conversation with a woman who was being haunted by the energy of her dead boss. 

Mulder knew Lauren was the key to figuring out what had happened to all the people that seemed to be dying upon coming into contact with her and wanted nothing more than to know all the secrets and answers she held; she could be the big break he’d been looking for, the evidence that had been ever so elusive till now. But at what cost was it going to be at?

As he watched Scully talk Lauren down from the edge and guide her to the open waters of hope, his mind swam with them, wanting Scully’s words to mean something more than a hollow gesture to produce the outcome she wanted. He sat still and unnerved by the whole interaction and only let his disparagement seep through once Lauren had excused herself for the rest room. He’d smiled sympathetically at her but as soon as the door closed he turned to Scully, his face a wash with undeclared emotion; torn between what the hell and how could you. 

“what are you doing Scully? You don’t believe.”

His words felt hard and jagged and accusing; and he meant them. She didn’t believe and here she was coaxing this tormented woman into his realm, just for the sake of what? He’d known since the beginning that while open minded, Scully just didn’t believe; not like he did. He’d been okay with that because she still held respect for him, his work and the journey they were on to the truth but now as she’d used the woman’s need of validation and to tell her loved one just how she felt again against her, he bristled with disappointment. 

He would always hold Scully in high regard, and have the upmost respect for her as a scientist, a doctor, an agent and a woman, but he could not have fathomed why she’d willingly mislead someone so close to Him in nature? Was he being selfish? Did his need to believe colour his view of what had just occurred a little too grey? 

She’d stared at him then, a steady, unwavering, scientific look on her face; Matter of fact. He knew what was coming. He knew she was about to sideline him, his thoughts and his beliefs. She seemed fed up with the whole thing and basically told him as such. 

“Mulder... there is no such thing as ghosts or psycho- kinesis... I’m sure there’s an explanation but I believe that she believes, and my priority is to get her to help us stop Dorland.” 

Mulder couldn’t help the contempt that laced his words as they stood facing each other. It wasn’t contempt for Scully as a person, but for the situation she had just placed them in. This was it...

“Well we may of just sacrifice our best opportunity to observe spectral phenomenon.”

She may not believe but he did and now he was losing his chance for answers, to experience the things he’d been chasing to science and logic and Scully’s loyalty to her duty of others. It almost seemed cruel to Mulder, for it to be so close yet now being ripped away from him. He was hurt and upset that Scully couldn’t see that this was important to him. And he knew she couldn’t with the words that spat and crackled from lips exhausted at having to justify herself to him. 

“No I’m giving us a chance to solve a case that’s tangible instead of chasing after shadows.”

His face fell, betraying any cohesion of his thoughts or feelings. She really didn’t believe and it started to seem like she didn’t believe in him either... but he knew the score from the start. They were two different classes of people; he was the moody, dark, aliens are real kind and she was thebright and sunny and teachers pet kind. He hadn’t thought it a bad criteria until now in this very room where she’d undermined his belief instead of at least trying to see things differently. He wasn’t lying about the shadows, they were there and as she walked past him out of the room, he vowed to himself that even if this case was tangible and solved, he would try his hardest to get her to at least try and believe, if not in the paranormal then in him.. again; one shadow at a time. 


	13. S1ep7: Ghost in the Machine- Mulder: The Profile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and his stolen profile aren’t happy with past friend Jerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could be spelling the name “Jerry” wrong, we spell it two ways here in Australia so... sorry if it is not the one your used to! 
> 
> A short perspective on this one.. this episode didn’t grab me like most of the others have so far but onward! 
> 
> Please enjoy! 
> 
> All the vibes 
> 
> Mel xx (@theQueerwriter)

* * *

He swore it had been right at the top of the pile of papers on his desk. 

No. 

He knew it was. Everything on this desk was in its place; each solitary piece of paper was were it needed to be. Scully would always look at it with disdain but like his mind it was ordered in such a way that he knew where everything was, what it was for and how he was going to use it. 

His profile had been there; no matter how much Scully had proclaimed if he had cleaned his desk more he’d find stuff. And now he sat in a briefing about a case he’d written the profile for, hearing his profile fall from the lips of the very person who’d asked for his help. 

His heart rate quickened and he felt a fiery anger building within him but he did his best to keep his face neutral. Scully had turned to him, knowing eyes slicing through his facade to the clipped annoyance beneath. He glanced at her, and with a look and slight shake of his head, told her not to worry, that it was what it was and now wasn’t the time to throw the tantrum he normally would have. 

She thankfully let it be and turned her attention back to the meeting. If she had of kept pushing he knew he would have broke, would have vilified Jerry in front of everyone. They were friends of course, but Mulder had moved on, had chosen his path; the basement office in the J. Edgar Hoover building, off general assignment. He was for the most part content, he didn’t need to be on the inside track with everyone, but one of the things that made him special was his ability to profile and build a narrative around the circumstances presented to him by the bare minimal of evidence. 

It bit and clawed at him that someone he’d worked so closely with could undermine him, use his work to their advantage; he was furious but showing that right now would only feed into the tale that others told of him. Spooky Mulder, with his files and aliens and abducted sister. He had signed up for that but knew Scully would feel the need to defend him, just like she so often did. This was between him and Jerry. 

As the briefing came to an end, Mulder waited for the room to clear, including Jerry, before he stood from his seat. He needed a minute; a minute to breath, to adjust to who this man was now, to what he was going to say to him. People change and it was clear that sometimes it wasn’t for the better; Jerry was in it for himself, for a ride to the top, out of his lowly pit of probation for bungling a case. Mulder had heard the details and as such, felt that the punishment for the crime was just. It was in their duty to handle evidence with the upmost care and if Jerry didn’t do that andcompromised the work of so many others, then he was deserving of being a bottom feeder. 

It wasn’t even about the fact that the profile was used. That was it’s intended creation; to give guide about the suspect, a preview of his narrative, to those seeking it and them. What really had Mulder annoyed was the fact Jerry had invaded is privacy, broke into his inner sanctum; his office was the one place that was his own, where theory could be put forth and evidence could be displayed without provocation or judgement. Scully was the exception to that rule. He welcomed her input because she had respect for him and the journey they were on together. 

Mulder would have gladly shared his knowledge with Jerry if he’d asked, instead of blindsiding him with his lack of trust. Jerry was the reason they were even on this case in the first place, he should have had more respect for the work they had both climbed the ladder doing.... now Mulder had lost a little respect for him; and to him once the respect was lost, it was hard to get back. 


End file.
